Run, don't walk, the skies are falling

[Lexi Galina Krum]

To: Alik
From: Lexi

Alik, my sweet, how are you? I hope you're keeping up with your schoolwork, since it would be quite an inconvenience for me to have to write to Mother and tell her about your slacking.

I'm only joking, of course...I know you're doing quite well in your classes, as usual. That's not what I'm worried about. I heard you're attending the Dimitrov Christmas party this year, our own family's plans be damned. I don't have to tell you how disappointed Mother will be if you try to go against them and Apparate there against their wishes.

Can I go, too? I know how many people from Lovech will be in attendance, and I know you're going just so that Stas doesn't have such a difficult time dealing with Ivan the Terrible and Ilya the Icky. So, while you're watching over everything like some special Christmas gargoyle, someone needs to be watching over you.

Please, can I go?

[Aleksander Nikolai Krum]

To: Galochka
From: Aleksander

Doing fine. Got Quidditch practice in ten, so giving you a list.

1 - Tell Mother or Father I'm "slacking," and all your books are getting jinxed into Yiddish. And I'm not joking. :)

2 - Both of them know where I stand on the Christmas party, unless you forgot Alik's Last Stand against Father last year. (Vanya still calls it that. If he sings that stupid little song about it in the commonroom one more time, he's getting Silencio'd until 2023. That's fine with you, right?) I'm not leaving Stas alone again, you know that.

3 - Gargoyle? I'm a Christmas gargoyle?

4 - I don't need my little sister looking out for me, Galochka. But Stas likes having you around, and you'd probably be the only mentally stable girl in the bunch, so it's okay with me. If Mother and Father decide we should have other plans, though, you're staying home. We can't both get in trouble. That would make Vanya the good child. That's not acceptable.

- A

(P.S. - Heard the Zabini twins complaining that you were the only one in your year to get a 100 on some big Potions exam. Not bad, little sis.)

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[Lexi Galina Krum]

To: Alik
From: Lexi

טאַקע אַליק, דיין פרווון בייַ טוואָרטינג מיין בילדונג ביסט קיוט.

Don't worry yourself trying to translate that. Now, as for the party thing: I am so going. End of story. I'm going to owl Mother and Father and tell them of my plans - I don't ask much of them, so they're sure to let us go if it's what I want. (And don't you hex poor Vanya...that song is pretty cute.)

You know, sometimes it's nice being the favorite.

You are quite like a gargoyle sometimes: silent, overbearing, and you look utterly ridiculous. But even gargoyles need someone to watch over them. And you're right about one thing: whatever happens, Vanya cannot take the title of the good child. It would just be unnatural.

P.S. - They're just jealous of my academic skill; you Slytherins and your god complexes...but we can't all be perfect. ;)

[Aleksander Nikolai Krum]

To: Nerd
From: Aleksander

Nerd.

So where exactly was the Charming Galyushka last year, when I was getting my head bitten off? I'm honestly curious. Vanya added a verse about that to the song last month, you know. (I'm hexing him. Deal with it.)

If I'm a gargoyle and you're watching me, that must make you Quasimodo. Perfect fit: spend all your time locked in Ravenclaw Tower, turning into a hunched old lady with your dusty old books, and you look utterly ridiculous. You're right. It's uncanny.

I told Stas I'd get to the party early for him, so if you want to Side-Along with me to get there, get ready to be the first ones there. Get over yourself, and I'll try extra hard not to splinch your baby toe. :)

- A

P.S. - Of course we've got god complexes; we get things handled. You Ravenclaws will have no idea what to do when you get in the real world where there are no grades. But don't worry. You'll have Slytherins around to take care of the practical matters. :)

P.P.S. - Nerd.

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[Lexi Galina Krum]

To: Alik
From: Lexi

Ha, so you do realize you need me looking out for you. I would have definitely been on your side last year, but the problem was that you swooped in on the offense and ruined your chances from the very start.

This year, let me handle things.

Oh, that's rich: Quasimodo? How dare you. I am gorgeous and have perfect posture, thank you very much. Just because I'm bookish doesn't mean I don't know how to have a good time...it just has to fit into my planner.

Not the baby toe, Alik. Anything but that baby toe. Dork.

P.S. - And we'll be there, backing up (and thoroughly editing so they actually make sense) your mad plots with all our skills we learned by paying attention in school.

[Aleksander Nikolai Krum]

To: Quasimodochka
From: Aleksander

A likely story. You just didn't want to get on Father's bad side because you knew he was getting you that old Muggle film collection for Christmas and didn't want him to take it back.

Yeah. I knew. Nice try, blaming it on me, though. Very Slytherin of you.

So Vanya tried to hex some Gryffindor kid he doesn't like today. It backfired. He's coughing up newts now. You might want to go see him in the Hospital Wing; Miss Weasley kicked me out because I wouldn't stop laughing at him. (He should be happy I even took him. Totally his fault. It wasn't even creative.)

Make sure Mother doesn't make us take him along to the party when you're doing your little negotiating thing. He'll just break things.

- A

P.S. - Stas says he can plot just fine on his own, but if you're gunning for a position in the hierarchy once he's taken over the government, he'll happily give you one. (Don't worry, I'm working on correcting his error in judgment.) And he's looking forward to seeing you over break. And if he keeps muttering things for me to add from across the dorm room, he's writing his own post.

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[Lexi Galina Krum]

To: Gargoyle of Christmas Present
From: Lexi

That was a very valuable collection of films. Oh, remind me to show you a funny one about wizard-kind sometime. Muggles' perspectives of us can be so amusing.

Poor Vanya...he really needs to learn to control that temper; I've told him countless times that violence isn't the answer, but you Slytherins never seem to understand. I'll go see him tomorrow.

No way is he coming with us: I don't even want to think about the trouble he could cause around so many important people. Alik, how could someone so socially unacceptable be related to the two of us?

P.S. - We all know Stas could have been a Ravenclaw. As for the position of power, thanks but no thanks...the only position I'm going to hold is cleaning up after the messes you two create and making sure you don't kill yourselves.

You can tell him I'm looking forward to seeing him as well, but if postman - unlike "mother hen" - isn't in your job description you can just tell him to write me. :)

[Aleksander Nikolai Krum]

To: Mother Hen (let's not kid ourselves)
From: Aleksander

Let me guess: we're all tiny old men with beards to our feet and old hags with warts, and all we're good for is granting wishes or poisoning people's produce? They make us watch those things in Muggle Studies. They're ridiculous. I can see why you like them.

I keep telling you, Vanya was raised by wolves. Obviously, Mother Obliviated us both at a young age and insisted on taking him in so he'd stop howling all night and eating the wildlife. At least he's stopped one of them.

Oh yeah, Stas and I both need new dress robes. I think he's going to go willingly be Zabini Gaga's living fashion doll, and yeah, that's a no-way-in-hell, so I'm on my own for it. You're combining dress-shopping with Christmas shopping soon, right? Find me something that's not horrible, and I'll be your stuff-carrier. (Or at least I'll shrink all of it so you won't be stuck lugging around eight bags, my little underage witch.) If I go by myself I just end up browsing Quidditch gear. (SkyScreamer 2023. Just got a new shipment in the broom shop. Limited edition. Only thing on my Christmas list.)

You'll be getting a post from Stas, if you haven't already. I've got better things to do.

- A

(P.S. - The new Mage album wouldn't hurt either.)

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[Lexi Galina Krum]

To: One Prone to Over-Exaggeration
From: Lexi

Not at all! We're a lively bunch. We have a cool underground night club hangout and everything. Also, we may use a love spell to break up a man and his fiancée just so we can have him for ourselves, but I suppose the Muggles focusing on the negative is better than gangrenous groceries, don't you think?

Oh my...well, at least we know one of you will be impeccably dressed for the party. I suppose I could help you out - after all, we don't want you wearing a tea towel like you did when you were six. You were so fond of that thing, it was almost pitiful when Mother had to take it away from you so you wouldn't wear it around house guests.

I did receive a message from him, and shame on you for not writing just one more sentence for your friend. You disappoint me so.

P.S. - I'm not telling you what I purchased for your Christmas present, but I will say that it can just as easily be turned into a toad if you don't behave.

[Aleksander Nikolai Krum]

To: Mrs. Stas
From: Aleksander

I think I've heard of some of those underground nightclubs. Probably not the kind of 'lively' the Muggles have in mind.

Your judgment is just delicious, but we both know that it would start with 'just one more sentence' and turn into 'just one more page' and then 'hold my quill while I snog my dear Stas senseless.' (Wasn't it the year after my tea-towel phase that you started getting all moony-eyed over him? That was just precious.) You underestimate my instincts for self-preservation, my dear sister.

I'll meet you in the Entrance Hall when it's time to go. I do so appreciate your deigning to help the guy who saved you from that snake in the yard at the tender age of six and a half (in a tea towel, no less). Very kind of you.

- A

P.S. - If I'm getting a toad for Christmas, you're getting a Blast-Ended Skrewt. You've been warned. :)

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[Lexi Galina Krum]

To: I Will End You
From: Lexi

You really know how to expertly ruin a good film's plot, don't you?

Alik, I will kill you. I will smother you with a pillow if you don't cut it out, really: your tea towel phase was much more embarrassing than a little childhood crush. Besides, I had a valid reason upon which my six year-old self built an intellectually-based attraction. It's not like it matters any more, either; I'm pretty sure that one mister Felix Zabini will be the end of anyone's interest in our good friend Stas. After all, you don't say no to a Zabini.

You can only use the snake thing - however brave it was - for so long, and I think the end of your grace period was somewhere between two and three years ago. Nice try, though.

P.S. - What would I get in return for a lump of coal? I feel like someone has to attempt to correct rather than enable your horrendous behavior, and it looks like that someone is me.

[Aleksander Nikolai Krum]

To: Galochen'ka
From: Aleksander

Ooh, death threats. Aren't we feeling sensitive? (Seriously, you guys both live in books and actually write for fun. I did you both a favor.)

You may be right about Zabini. Had an interesting conversation with him a while ago. (I know I don't want to hear the answer to this from you, but honestly - do I do something that makes all Slava's other friends hate me before we've even met? Seriously.) Kid's got a lot of feelings about Stas, I'll give him that. Being him's got to be exhausting.

(I've got to use the snake thing. That's the last time my baby sister appreciated me. Makes me shed a little tear inside.)

You fine with Apparating to wherever we're going for the shopping thing? Figure it'll help expedite the process.

- A

P.S. - You're not the only one who got an O in Transfig, dear sister. Bring on the coal. I'll just swap out that Muggle movie collection of yours for a box set of Muggle reality TV. (What say we compromise: I give you your present, you give me mine, and the toad, the skrewt, and the coal can go to Vanya. You're not stuck in a commonroom with him - trust me, he's earned nothing.)

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